May 30, 2008
Lets Shape the Fuck Up Guys
Please note this is all through observation, results may vary.
It’s probably not a good time to bash on Chinese people. You know with the earthquake in Sichuan, vicious disease that took a couple dozen of innocent young lives, and a losing reputation in world from the surging politicized Beijing Olympics due to Tibet revolt to producing faux or hazardous products. It is a real goddamn shame because China is a second world nation and is heading towards the route of becoming a superpower nation. Even with the rising economy, China still has internal and environmental issues that needs to be resolved. I don’t remember a daily dosage of smog is healthy plus in a normal human diet. And, I sure don’t goddamn remember a sludged pond is a necessary attribute to cityscape. We have gained so much and so far after Deng Xiao Peng stepped in for China, minus Tienanmen Massacre (Yes, really minus that). You know, open trade to the world and freedom to many of our Chinese parents and families. Remember that? Probably not. China is not the only one that needs to shape the fuck up, Chinese people in America also needs to shape up. Chinese people in America always tend to lean toward assimilation rather than to make a stand. Chinese people have come to America to strive for a better life, finding opportunities to become successful. Yet, we are so drowned to succeed that our image has been mired in our inconsiderate ways. Success in a dirty way anyone? Whatever happened to our philosophies like work and consider everything as one rather than proceed things in a single fashion (Oh, do this but we’ll get back to that later)? Time to shape up guys before it gets worse.
China: Unity
One of the many reasons why I believe China isn’t as successful as it should be because we are so fucking disunited. Northern people belittles Southern people, Toishan people are smelly and dirty (That’s according from someone I know), the rest of the nation dislikes the FJs (Sorry Fujians, currently you guys are the Mexicans of the Chinese race), and Hong Kong people are snobbish toward mainland people (Some say they think they’re all that because they had the British influence, fuck that, you guys got invaded remember? Freedom in “Gow Chut” son. Don’t even start Shanghai, you guys got screwed over by a variety of white people. Yeah, you damn right I said it Ms. Tong). And don’t forget, Taiwan doesn’t like the mainland too much either because they don’t want to be part of Communist China, remember they’re Taiwanese not Chinese.
1) Northern and Southern people should really cut that shit out. Even though it is not apparent at times, those eyes of disapproval to one another is immensely visible especially with those sighs. Yes, we all have our fair shares of pointing fingers on who is more slick and sly or crude and uncivilized. In the end, we’re all the same so shake hands and shut up. There is no level of superiority of classes in Communism guys (Minus, the leaders who run the nation. Irony.).
2) Toishan people are not smelly and dirty. Last time I can recall Toishan people are one of the first Chinese people to come to America’s West Coast to find gold, to build choo choo train tracks, and to open laundromats. Plus, Toishan dialect is not crude at all; it is sounds and feels laid back and humorous.
3) Yes, many Chinese people do share a good amount of dislike towards the Fujians. Just like how Spanish people dislike Mexicans, Fujians should actually be admired in someways. FJs work very hard to gain whatever they can to succeed, and they have the balls to sell bootlegged shit in Canal Street after being chased by the police from the previous day. However, that bootlegging act does come with a cost because it does shatter the Chinese reputation by a good chunk. Shady vans in shady alleys that sell Couch bags and shouting “DVDs SEX DVDs” is not something to be joyful about. Not to mention turning places into a hell hole, i.e. 8th Avenue, and destroying the essence of hands free cellphone accessories (Sitting down shouting at a wall doesn’t give everyone the same story).
4) Yeah yeah, Hong Kong has got its British influence for some odd century, but that doesn’t give you shit to be snobby. Yes, returning back to China’s hands has fucked up the economy for a bit. You guys are still in the one country two system state, so suck it up. I’m not saying all Hong Kong people are snobbish and intolerable. But from what I saw on my last visit, it was quite apparent at times.
5) Taiwan, where should I begin? I find it quite interesting when some Taiwanese people go really anal about them being Taiwanese and not Chinese. “Ahhh, do not confuse us with Chinese people! We are Taiwanese!” Look, who the fuck from the outside can tell? I think Chinese people are the only ones who can really tell, just like black people can distinguish their ethnicity. Taiwanese are Han Chinese people. You say you’re Taiwanese, that’s just native Han Chinese that has been dwelling there for a few thousand years. Remember Kuomanting (Chang Kai Shek and the Chinese Democratic Party)? The Communist party drove their asses there to the island of Formosa or Taiwan. And they all came from mainland China. It’s perfectly fine to be adamant about being Taiwanese, just don’t loathe the idea of being part of Chinese. “Hey I’m Chinese, but Taiwanese to be exact.” I’m not saying Taiwan should be annexed by Communist China, show a little Democratic pride. China is heading towards there anyways. And please, have a little shame. Come on, even just a little for producing Jay Chou (For goodness sake, Kung Fu Dunk 2?).
China: Stand up tall and flip the bird
All this politicizing of the Beijing Olympics from the Tibet Revolt is just ludicrous. One sided media concocted by the Western world (Cropped photos do give different messages) …boycotting the Olympic torch relay…it is absolutely ridiculous. The Olympics is a global congregation where athletes from all over the world come to compete. Leave the global politics shit out and just let the games run properly (Yeah, fuck you France). And please, the earthquake in Sichuan is not bad karma from the Tibet Revolt issue or internal policies; it’s mother nature, shit happens (Fuck you too Sharon Stone.) Stand up tall and voice your stance China.
China: Regulate yourselves a little more
I know China is known for producing not exactly the most trustworthy products. Faulty baby formula (That makes babies’ heads grow three times their normal size), faux toothpaste, and even hazardous food products (fake starch, fake eggs, you name it), the actions of destroying of other people and our own people is not something that correlates to a certain race or ethnicity. It is humanly act, a desperate irrational act when the nation is poor in various places and carrying over a billion inhabitants. China is becoming a threat to America due to its growing economy and this is not the time to become untrustworthy in exports. Regulate and reshape guys.
China: Please do not get rid of Traditional style
Not too long ago, I came across the news where China was thinking of universalizing Simplified style of Chinese handwriting as the global standard for Chinese. I just really flipped out on that one. Yes, I went to Chinese school for more than eleven years under Taiwanese teaching. And yes, Taiwanese people all focus on Traditional handwriting. But getting rid of Traditional style? That’s like another Cultural Revolution caused by my chigga Mao (Oh we sure gained a lot of culture from that revolution). Getting rid of Traditional style is like getting rid of art and history at the same time. How many years did it take us to form and shift to the style that is what we know today? Simplified does make it much better for writing, but that is just fucking lazy sometimes. Simplified and Traditional are so vastly different. If you ask a mainlander to read Traditional, he or she will bitch slap you silly (Vice versa too). Don’t get rid of it, save it and embrace it. Plus, Simplified calligraphy looks like shit.
I think I’ll stop here with China. China is probably hard at work tweaking its own internal affairs, but Chinese people residing in America also has a set problems that needs to be considered.
Chinese America: Restaurants
It can be surely noted that there are a great number of Chinese restaurants out there in the city or cities. But, there are certain things that really bug me when it comes to them. One, I really hate those small random Chinese or Chinese Tex Mex takeout restaurants that are seen randomly in streets, but sadly there are always at least five of them in every neighborhood. Not only is the food not good at all, but sometimes I even see them as the cancerous tumor of Chinese cuisine. I remember one time when I went to Sandro’s neighborhood Chinese takeout place Sandro was very indecisive about what he wanted. So he asked the cashier guy in the front what is good. The guy pointed some random cheesy Chinese (I don’t think you can even call it Chinese) dish. Sandro asked him does he even eat the food that is being cooked in the restaurant. The guy shook his head and said of course not. There it just went off in me…I mean what the hell, if you don’t eat it then how can you possibly even recommend for such atrocity that is so called Chinese takeout food. Seemingly, I find it damn shameful that our cuisine has stooped down such a level where crappy food is just a source of money to leech off of random suckers. Second, I really hate the display of Chinese restaurants, especially in Chinatown or Flushing. You got your local cheap and tasty eateries like Big Wong, Jaya, and Thai Son (Yeah I know it’s Viet, but it’s in Chinatown so what the hell). But whenever you’re done with your delicious serving of food, that feeling of leaving the restaurant is pretty damn regrettable sometimes. Inside you’re smelling the yummy cha siew and duck, walk outside and you get this big ass nasty whiff of shit. I’ve also noticed that streets in Chinatown and Flushing are just ridiculously nasty as fuck. Concrete is white or pale gray. However, Chinese restaurants have the skills to turn that shit into midnight greasy black. For goodness sake Chinese restaurant owners, please clean the goddamn streets. Hose that shit down with water, take some time to scrub and clean it so Chinatown can have a more pleasant image. I admire the Italian restaurants in Little Italy. In the morning, you can actually see them take time to hose down and clean the sidewalks. Presentation is absolute and Chinese restaurants should really fucking do that. It’s just a damn shame and disgrace to see that the owners are so cheap that they wouldn’t even spend a little more money just to clean there sidewalks. A cleaner sidewalk can really make a difference in satisfaction. I surely don’t want to puke my well spent meal right outside of your door. This goes for seafood markets too, clean your goddamn sidewalks. Nasty bastards.
Chinese America: Volume, volume, volume
Yes, Chinese people, we are pretty goddamn loud when we start talking. It is just simply fascinating sometimes how Chinese people don’t realize or even have an inkling thought of the word volume. To us, it may sound like it’s a proper conversational volume. But to the people from the outside, sometimes it really sound like a shouting match. For instance, one time I was at Chinatown Fair, there was this FJ guy behind me watching while I was playing DDR. After I was done with my song, the guy walked up behind me and smacked my fucking head. He started to shout Fujianese at me, and as just as anyone, I was really confused. He went BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, and I kindly replied with my confused whats. He kept on shouting and yelling in Fujianese, and then just stopped. His face just began to shift and formed a crooked frown and walked away. I mean what the hell, were you asking me who I am or did you just decided to walk up to me and decided to just yell the shit out of me? I also find Chinese people (Doesn’t really pertain to all) are dangerous when they’re with the cellphone. Cellphones are the means of communication today, but do you really have to yell the shit out of it? Every time when I’m on the N train and I look for a random Chinese person with a cellphone. Once that person gets a call or makes a call, my anticipation rises. “Here it comes, here it comes…” Ring ring, BOOM! You can hear that conversation from the end of the car. Are you yelling the shit out of that person or are you telling him or her that you’ll be back home in five minutes? I mean yes, some people are loud and proud, that is perfectly fine. That still doesn’t make it any less annoying for the person next to him or her. Simply gold when the person next to him or her cringes as the volume spikes out spontaneously. And may I repeat, a person sitting down facing the wall with a hands free cellphone accessory doesn’t give everyone the same story. Yeah I’m talking to you mister Fujianese man right next to Pearl Paint. You confused the shit out of me.
Chinese America: Not all black people are dangerous
There are times in my mind that I think what if I was black guy who can speak Chinese (Hush, no jokes about my dark skin). It would be so awesome. Think about it. I would go on the N train and find random cautious and insecure old ladies and just sit next to them. There I would just wait until they mutter something like, “Oh my gud, that hok gwai is going to rob me…better get off the next stop.” Then, I’ll turn around and say in Chinese (fluently), “Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I’m a freakin’ thief.” Then, their eyes would be wide open, paralyzed for five minutes or so, and I’ll just walk away and giggle. Seriously, why are Chinese people so goddamn fearful about black people? Just because you hear stories of bad black people beating Chinese delivery guys for money doesn’t mean you should automatically assume all black people are evil. How many times have you heard from other Chinese people, “Oh shit, hok gwai lei ahhh hok gwai lei ahhh…” The word hok gwai just automatically triggers the red alert status in Chinese people’s minds. I have even given up on asking my parents permission if my friends can come over to my house. First thing I’ll hear, “Mut yeah yun lei gahh? Hok gwai or gwai lo ahh?” Yet it still fascinates me when Chinese people allow some sort of acceptance to white people and not black people. “Ahhh gwai lo, okay lahh…Hok gwai?! Noooooooooooo….” Seriously, not all black people are bad. It also a great time to really say Chinese people should shut the fuck up about it because there’s a black Chinese opera singer on the rise of fame in mainland China. “Ohh cheahhh…fei zhou yun (African) juh muh, yow mai hok gwai…” Goddamn it…stop being so racist and rude to others. Yeah, Spanish people and Brown people, sorry for neglecting you guys. Don’t have much beef with you guys I guess. Oh right, not all joong doong los are suicide bombers assholes. Get it right.
Chinese America: (Thankee Debby) Come on Chinese American actor/actress, singer, funny person
You have to admit, ever since Bruce Lee passed away (God rest the great man’s soul and his son) the Chinese American reputation in popular media has really dried up for us. It’s pretty hard to come up with a good handful of Chinese American actors or actresses. The only one that really sticks out of my mind immediately is Lucy Liu and maybe Maggie Q (Bai Ling for creepiness? And, some from The Joy Luck Club). But where’s our most stand out actor or actress? The Koreans have John Cho and Sung Kang (Badass). The Japanese have George Takei and Masi Oka (Hiro Nakamura). Where the hell are our cool actors and actresses?! And as for singers, without a doubt there’s Coco Lee and Jin (Please stick with English rap and freestyle battles, the Chinese rap really kills us. It really drags down the reputation for jook sings. Seriously, Lunar Festival and Chinese New Year have no difference, that is pure ignorance. I can probably go on about his Chinese songs, but really just stop it). But honestly for Chinese American actors and actresses, where are you guys? We can’t keep on depending Jackie Chan and Jet Li, ass kicking kung fu can only go so far.
Well, it’s just something to ponder about and I could be wrong (Probably dead wrong). *shrugs*
Pew pew pew!
Filed by Kingz at May 30th, 2008 under Something to Ponder and tagged Chinese People
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